Well, at least we're consistent. Yep, you guess it, we have had and are having issues with our home study update. You know, again, this is something that should be so routine for everyone involved and yet, it just isn't.
First off, our social worker was scheduled for 3/5, but lo and behold, she had to reschedule for 3/11. She stated several times that once the in home meeting took place, she would have our update ready within a day or two. Well, the 13th came and went with no word, and yes the 14th too. Finally, on the 17th she emailed me saying that she needed more information. There is a particular form that each family has to have completed by their local Department of Family & Children Services. I had sent our form in way back in January. Apparently, our social worker hadn't received it, and we were going to have to actually go to DFACS ourselves and have them fill out a new one. But, just by chance I called the main office of our home study agency just to double check, and it turns out that they had it there. Obviously, that was a relief but also very frustrating, because we could've had our update much sooner, had the correct communication happened between main office and social worker. Anyway, I'm thinking worst case scenario, we would have it by 3/21. No such luck. FINALLY, on 3/26 she sent me an email saying that she had sent in our report to the main office. Oh, and she apologized for the delay (thank you very much). Well, I kept expecting an email or something in the mail, and I still haven't gotten it. I know, it's just the 29th, but I'm working on a deadline here and I'm anxious. So, I called the main home study agency office today.
First of all, the phone was answered with "HELLO". Obviously, I thought I had called the wrong number. But, no instead it was our agency's receptionist and she was out at a restaurant having lunch. She had forwarded the calls. I couldn't hear her for all the background noise and conversation. But, I tried to inquire about how long I should expect to wait before I receive our update. And IF I heard her correctly, she said, "Oh, you can call back A WEEK FROM TUESDAY, when s0 & so is going to be in, she's the one that does that." I'm thinking, Are you kidding me????? I was prepared to have some discussion right then and there, but I thought, "what good would it do, she is obviously doing more important things right now, and doesn't have time for me." But, you can bet, on Monday morning I will be making a call to the executive director herself.
Again, this is so frustrating because it doesn't have to be like this, it shouldn't be like this!! There are children here and all over the world that need parents. Yet, we have agency's that don't even care enough to man the phone during normal office hours. We have, over and over, in this process been met with people that are apathetic and just quite honestly don't care......and I'm not talking about caring about us or what we're trying to do as a family, I'm talking about people not caring about their own jobs. People that could care less whether they do their job properly and to the best of their ability. And, this is just not acceptable. Not when there are government imposed deadlines to meet, and if they are not met will cost us, at the very least an extra $1000. Not when, there is a little girl across the world that doesn't have a mommy to meet even the most basic of her needs.
This process is killing me. It is stretching me and doing things with my patience that I never ever thought I could. You see, in the past, I've always had some tiny morsel of control. Something that I could do that might change the outcome of the situation. But, with this adoption, there is not one single solitary shred of control. Not even the most minute amount. And, I think I would be okay with that on some days, but when the wait drags on and on, and there is nothing I can do about it, I just ache and feel the most hopeless feeling. It is the same way I felt when Sara Kate was sick, and I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to help her. Try that feeling......on, and on, and on. It's a hard place. Please Pray
Friday, March 28, 2008
Update Woes
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3 comments:
I'll refer to one of your earlier posts, waiting stinks. I know it may seem like Malley may never get here, but she will and all this will seem like a distant nightmare. I so wish I could speed this process up for you. I will most certainly continue to pray. I love you and hurt with you.
I will be praying and hurt with you as well. My heart broke as I read your post. Please trust His heart, even though your eyes and ears and your OWN heart tell you differently when you are working with these HUMAN PEOPLE who aren't doing their jobs!
We will pray and we will wait with you for precious Malley to be HOME!
We Love you!
Cyndi
Your dream, desire, and vision is not dead, just in process. Being in a place where we can do nothing is a good thing, it allows HIM to bring Malagan home! HE WILL! He started this, He'll finish!!! Don't loose hope.
Chelle
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